Totemo Itai Itaigaritai
by Chaos Twin of Destruction
Summary: Karma feels something within him threatening to break free. His bloodlust becomes too much for him, and he loses control. (Split Personality/MPD!Karma)
1. Anger and Pain

It was one of those days that Karma _really_ wished that he was suspended. He growled, punching the wall as it cracked slightly under the force.

"Jeez Karma, what's got you so pissed?" Sugino asked, walking into the hallway followed by the rest of the E-Class as they noticed Karma's sour mood and immediately backed off into the classroom.

"My damn relatives are coming into town." he snarled, punching the wall again and leaving a bigger crack in the wooden wall.

Sugino backed off slightly, "But I thought you would've liked to see your family again?"

The redhead laughed bitterly, "Please, I couldn't give a rat's ass about them. All they care about is me being the best in everything. They barely give two shits about me as a person and only care about me being number one or some other shit like that."

Koro-sensei, Irina, and Karasuma had shown up at this point, "Looks like you're having some family issues there kid." Irina said, twirling a piece of her blonde hair.

Karma scoffed, "Way to state the obvious."

"Are you sure your family doesn't do anything else?" Karasuma inquired, having a sneaking suspicion that there was more than he was letting on to.

Karma stayed silent, fists clenched at his sides as his bangs shadowed most of his face.

"Karma?" Koro-sensei inquired, face still as smiling as ever but worry evident in his voice.

 _You think this is funny?!_

 _You think you can fly by on this behavior?!_

 _YOU HAVE DISGRACED OUR FAMILY NAME!_

" _I-I'm sorry…"_

 _DO NOT SPEAK BACK TO YOUR MOTHER YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE PEST!_

" _I'm sorry…"_

 _YOU THINK THIS FAMILY IS A JOKE?! WE WORK HARD EVERY DAY TO MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A SUCCESSFUL LIFE AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY US?!_

" _I'm sorry."_

 _WE DIDN'T HAVE TO BRING YOU INTO THIS WORLD! YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL FOR THE LIFE THAT WE'VE GIVEN YOU!_

" _I'M SORRY!"_

"KARMA!"

Snapping out of his stupor, Karma then realized he had been violently shaking and swallowed thickly, leaning against the wall and trying to calm his heartbeat.

"Are you alright?" the soft voice of Nagisa echoed in his ears, and he realized the bluenette must have been watching him from the very beginning. Usually, it would be embarrassing but today he only felt one thing: fear; something he hadn't experienced in awhile.

Fear because of his parents, and fear of the fact that knowing someone could find out about his life at home.

So he answered quickly, "I'm fine." trying to make his voice as steady as possible.

Nagisa frowned, slowly advancing, "Karma, are you sure? You usually don't act like this…"

"I'm fine, Nagisa." the redhead ground out, collecting himself somewhat.

"Karma-"

"Just drop it Nagisa!"

The bluenette stopped momentarily before his gaze hardened, stepping forward confidently, "Karma, you're my best friend. I can tell when something's bothering you, so just tell me so you won't be hurting even more!"

"Dammit Nagisa it's none of your business!" and before Karma knew it, his fist was already flying towards the bluenette's face.

Thankfully, however, his arm was caught by Terasaka before he could actually hit the petite boy, "Dude what's your problem?! I get your pissed but you don't have to go and take it out on other people!"

Nagisa slowly backed away and Karasuma and Irina made sure he got a good distance from the angered teen. Seeing his friend's fearful face sparked something in Karma.

Satisfaction.

And bloodlust.

From what, exactly? He found himself questioning in his mind, mildly aware of the fact that some of the other students had filed out at the commotion.

 _Your goal. Your desire to hurt. Your yearning to inflict pain on those who cross your path,_ a sinister voice whispered in his ear.

 _Now give in._

The voice kept whispering to him, telling him to hurt his friends, even the teachers, to satisfy his need. His need for what, you ask?

Blood.

And for it to never stop.

But could he really do it? Could he hurt the people he had worked alongside for so long? _Could he hurt his friends?_

 _ **Yes,**_ the voice hissed, louder this time, _**Yes, Karma, hurt them. Satisfy your bloodlust. Satisfy your need to hurt, to kill!**_

He gave in.

All hell broke loose.

.

.

.

.

The first thing Terasaka felt was a blow to the face, then the stomach. Stumbling off his feet, he watched with disbelief as Karma went completely ballistic, throwing punches and kicks like no tomorrow to the first victim he encountered: Maehara.

He swiftly dodged the first strike but was instantly hit in the shin with a sharp kick. Wincing, he evaded another deadly blow and leaving Karma to punch the wooden wall, leaving a large crack. Karma growled like an animal in frustration as Karasuma seized his arms in a full-nelson to try to stop him, and even _still_ found trouble containing the boy.

The redhead bared his teeth in a snarl, lashing out and kicking and punching and doing just about everything else to try to get out of the hold. He kicked the larger man's shins, making him wince but not falter.

"Calm down Akabane!" he shouted, just barely keeping the boy from escaping and causing more havoc. Irina went in to try to help the situation but Karma growled fiercely at her, making her back off instantly in fear of getting attacked.

A powerful blow to the chest caused Karasuma to stumble, giving Karma the right opportunity to make his way out of the hold and in a pouncing position, ready to fight as he growled and bared his sharp canines.

"Calm down kid, we don't want to hurt you.." Irina tried to reason slowly as if talking to a scared kitten.

Karma growled and the assassin backed off, hands up in surrender.

' _I've never seen Karma like this before,'_ Nagisa thought, racking his brain for any answers on his friend's predicament. _'Sure I've seen him pissed before, but his bloodlust is through the roof…'_

Looking over at his classmates, he could also tell they could feel the dangerous amounts of bloodlust Karma was letting off. Some were visibly shuddering from the dangerous spike.

' _His bloodlust will only be sated once he kills...but Karma's never killed anyone before!'_

 _ **Kill your friend, only then will your pain dissolve.**_

Kill...it's a word Karma had said many times before, but never actually did. Sure, he had hurt people to the point where they had to go to a hospital, but never actually _murdered_ somebody. But..the pain in his head, it was unbearable. His bloodlust was climbing higher and higher to the point where he was hurting as well. Maybe he should actually…

 _No._

 _He wasn't going to kill his friends._

 _He cared about them._

Struggling to dissipate his bloodlust, Karma gripped the floor as his fingers ground into the wood. He snarled as he tried to overcome the feeling to kill and feel the blood on his fingers, his face, _in his mouth-_

 _ **Don't resist, Karma. You want the pain to go away, don't you?**_

 _..yes._

 _ **Then kill.**_

 _ **Show them the monster you really are.**_

 _ **DON'T HOLD BACK.**_

 _ **KILL THEM.**_

 _ **MaKe ThEm SuFfEr.**_

 _ **MonStEr**_

 _ **MuRdErEr**_

Karma screamed.

* * *

 **Notes: This was supposed to be separated into two chapters, but then I realized how short it was and decided to combine them. (also if anyone's wondering about the cover, I originally made this only for Wattpad but then decided to post in on here as well lel)**


	2. Suffering

They were startled when the boy suddenly screamed, gripping his head in pain as Nagisa immediately walked forward.

"K-Karma! What's wrong?!" he reached his hand outward only for Karasuma to grip his wrist tightly.

"Don't! If you try to touch him in his current state you'll only make things worse!"

"B-but he's-!" the boy whimpered, looking on helplessly as his friend continued to scream, gripping his head like his head was being torn apart.

Karma gripped his head as he felt _it_ clawing at his mind. Strands of red hair fell to the ground as he screamed in pure agony, begging for it to stop.

"Please make it stop!" he hadn't realized he had been verbally begging by now, but those thoughts were whisked away when he felt another one of his mental walls collapse. He screamed as _it_ entered his mind, breaking down all his mental defenses in one fell swoop.

.

.

.

.

.

.

He honestly couldn't tell if he had stopped screaming or not. His whole body was numb with pain and his throat felt dry and hoarse. His vision was blurry, but he heard mumbling not too far away and some sniffles.

"K-Karma…?" he recognized that voice...what was his name again? Ah, right, Nagisa. Nagisa Shiota.

His best friend.

The first person who didn't see him as a freak.

The first he let his guard down to.

And the very person he _**so**_ wanted to kill.

"Karma? Can you hear me?" he heard sniffled so he could only guess he was crying. Did he think he was dying or something? He suppressed a chuckle.

And why did he keep calling him that?

The boy was gone now, and he was finally free.


	3. Anguish

He felt cold. He couldn't understand why, but it was just how he felt. His eyes felt heavy and his limbs were numb. It was like he had been drugged and doused in an ice bath for too many hours.

Maybe he was dead.

The thought unconsciously caused his lips to twitch upwards. Oh, so maybe not all of him was numb after all. Though the thought – however absurd it sounded – actually sounded nice right about now. It was certainly something Karma had thought about many times but never tried to experience first-hand (it was ironic and funny, thinking about how _he_ of all people was afraid of something as measly as death while he nearly inflicted it on every one of his victims). It wasn't like he could do anything as he was right now; sure, he got excellent grades but what good it do you if nobody acknowledged it? Even so, his grades weren't what got him in the 'End Class', more-so his behavior of all things.

He always had trouble with controlling himself.

Or maybe it only started after being dropped so low.

 _'Damn, did I really just think that?'_ he thought, blearily opening his droopy eyelids only to stare into the darkness. _'Thinking that my own classmates were the cause my behavior?'_ Great, now he sounded like those assholes from the main campus. Better fix that.

Yet doubt still crept into his mind. Maybe his classmates _were_ the cause of his violent behavior. Hell, maybe even the whole school was the cause of his behavior. Sometimes he wondered why he even went to Kunugigaoka in the first place but then remembered that there was no smarter school for him. It really was lonely at the top.

Maybe that's why he never got along with anyone; he was always too smart for them. But every child craved attention, and Karma even went as far one time to _literally_ play dumb for an entire school year back in elementary school, just so he could have some friends to talk to. Suffice to say, his parents were _not_ pleased in the slightest.

" _I can't believe these grades young man! A 'C' in math?! A 'D' in science?! What do you think your education is for?!"_

" _We spent countless hours hiring the best tutors for our son, and all you do is throw all of that hard work down the drain! You ungrateful piece of shit!"_

" _I hope you've said goodbye to your 'friends,' because you're leaving."_

The next day he had transferred schools where he proceeded to catch up on his studies and make no friends whatsoever. Even when going to a prestigious school like Kunugigaoka, he never had any friends except...

 _Nagisa._

Nagisa; just the simple mention of his name brought another smile to Karma's lips. Nagisa was the only person he had found an interest in, in his bleak world. The boy's kind smile was enough to bring a soft warmth to Karma's heart.

 _But then he started to drift away too._

He frowned, the warmth disappearing and only leaving a cold feeling lingering behind. He never wanted to leave Nagisa behind, but the boy...he was dangerous. He threatened Karma like no person had done before. His blood lust was damn nearly uncontrollable.

And it scared him.

Nagisa Shiota scared him.

So he put a distance between them. He excelled in his studies to distract himself and to force himself not to run over to the bluenette and hug him and chat like they used to. He never missed the hurt looks Nagisa would give him when he left class early or ignored him, but he _had_ to keep strong. He couldn't be hurt again, he couldn't go through that emotional and physical trauma.

Even if it meant giving up the only friendship he had.


	4. Death

Death...a word that came easily to Karma. He had experienced it many times in the course of his life.

Death; when his first pet goldfish died.

Death; when his grandmother died.

Death; when he saw his mother lay in a coffin.

Death; when both of his parents died that day.

It came pretty easy to him nowadays. It's like he wasn't even trying. He had only tried one time when he desperately tried to revive his goldfish. He really missed Larry.

He didn't think he could take much more, to be completely honest. He couldn't even remember the last time he smiled genuinely (most likely when Larry was still alive, he mused). _Could_ he even smile anymore? He didn't know.

Staring into the blank space of darkness, he recalled the one time in his childhood when he was _happy_ (besides with Larry, of course); it had been the day his father had left town for a week on a business trip, leaving him and his mother alone. They never really got along. Sad, he thought, mother was so kind and caring, father didn't deserve her.

His mother was the only thing that kept him sane for the part of his childhood that she was there. She was always smiling, even in the darkest of hours. She would always sing him a lullaby to bed and make him his favorite meal for lunch in the mornings. She even let him help out with some of the drawings she did as a part-time graphic designer. He still thinks he has some of the designs she printed out all those years ago.

During that week his 'father' (could he even call him that? He seemed like a complete stranger to Karma) was gone, he and his mother went to help out at a local park where they needed good artists to paint colorful pictures on the walls. It was probably one of the best damn times in his life.

But then everything went to hell when _father_ came back.

He came back with a foreign woman (Karma knew because her Japanese accent was just _awful_ ) clinging to his arm and kissing his cheek. Both looked happy as ever as if _father_ wasn't already married and had a kid; like his wife and kid didn't even exist in his life. He and mother got into a fight, both throwing curses at each other (it was also the first time Karma had ever heard his mother curse) and occasional slaps being thrown here and there. All the while the foreign bitch (he didn't even bother to remember her name) sat down with him on the couch, trying to get him to warm up to her.

Karma never wanted to sock the man so hard in his face in his life.

Later that day, while he was in his room reading a novel his mom bought him, his mother came into the room with tear stains on her cheeks. She was obviously trying to convince Karma everything was alright judging by the watery smile on her face, but the red blotches on her cheeks said otherwise.

"Mommy is going to get some fresh air alright? I'll be back in a bit sweetie," she gently cupped his face, kissing his forehead lovingly and whispered the last words he ever heard her say. "I love you."

She never came back that night.

* * *

 **I apologize in advance for a) the lack of author notes, b) the chapters being so short and c) the chapters making no sense at all. I was in a really bad mood the past few days (plus I'm starting to get a bit stressed with school, especially since I want to maintain my straight A streak) and I got a bad headache this morning too. So basically this chapter is just me venting out my emotions (as was the previous chapter and possibly the others to follow)**

 **Hope you all liked this speedy update :P**


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